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Mar. 8th, 2004 07:54 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
thatabbygirlg: for the new library recently opened near me. as a replacement for the old library near me, which wasn't very good. this one is a drastic improvement - lots of parking, clean and well-lit, many books that are not written in russian. (i'm in a russian area and the old library seemed to carry no books in english.) i'm trying not to buy as many books and the new library is very helpful to that.
ng: oh god. where to begin. i'll just sum it up by saying i feel constantly like there's a ball of rage or anger or lonliness or misery inside my chest at all times. i can feel right where it is, almost like i could carve it out of myself. (don't worry, no s/i for me.) it's one of the few things i don't know how to address in any way.
g: for going out to lunch with the ex-boi on sunday. for having a very pleasant and comfortable time with him. for hearing about all the wild improvements he's made in his life (on speaking terms with his sister, in his second semester at school, completed and turned in an application to transfer to a 4-year school, etc). for the hope that i can still have him in my life.
ng: for having to apparently figure out what role we'll have in each others lives right now, because he's obviously still in luuuuuv with me. i don't think he can handle hanging out as friends if we're not going to get back together. he says he can, but i think he's lying. and i don't want to have to break up with him again. but there's no way for me to know how i feel about him without spending a lot more time with him. which i'm worried to do. because i don't want to have to break up with him again. thus, confusion.
g: for being smart.
ng: for overthinking everything that ever happens ever in the whole world always.
ng: oh god. where to begin. i'll just sum it up by saying i feel constantly like there's a ball of rage or anger or lonliness or misery inside my chest at all times. i can feel right where it is, almost like i could carve it out of myself. (don't worry, no s/i for me.) it's one of the few things i don't know how to address in any way.
g: for going out to lunch with the ex-boi on sunday. for having a very pleasant and comfortable time with him. for hearing about all the wild improvements he's made in his life (on speaking terms with his sister, in his second semester at school, completed and turned in an application to transfer to a 4-year school, etc). for the hope that i can still have him in my life.
ng: for having to apparently figure out what role we'll have in each others lives right now, because he's obviously still in luuuuuv with me. i don't think he can handle hanging out as friends if we're not going to get back together. he says he can, but i think he's lying. and i don't want to have to break up with him again. but there's no way for me to know how i feel about him without spending a lot more time with him. which i'm worried to do. because i don't want to have to break up with him again. thus, confusion.
g: for being smart.
ng: for overthinking everything that ever happens ever in the whole world always.
